Summer is construction season in Minnesota. Those of us living in Minneapolis experience the joys of closures and detours on a daily basis. It forces us out of our routines. We become more conscious of our patterns. All of us must accept change and find new routes. And enjoy our trusted paths, when they return to us. The process opens us up to all the roads, old and new, we can take to reach our destinations.
This summer I took a step toward reconstructing myself. I committed to living intentionally, not just for others, but for myself. I committed to rebuilding the parts of my life that were in need of some maintenance. My body has functioned for decades now. Admirably, it has dealt with everything I have thrown at it – cross-country moves, multiple pregnancies, job stress, too little exercise, too much caffeine, and not enough sleep. While I was still functioning, the roads of my life were in need of some repair.
It is a humbling experience, looking at yourself and deciding what needs to be rebuilt. In many ways, it has been so long that I didn’t know where to start. I knew I needed the right tools and the right community. So, I walked back through my life, asking, “At which points did I feel most alive? Most in touch? Most happily constructed? What was I doing during those periods of my life?”
I was doing yoga. And that was a long time ago.
The time I felt most comfortable in my body, the most balanced, was ten years ago. Sigh.
So, I accepted the effects of years of wear and tear, I promised to be gentle with myself, and I signed up for a month of yoga. I committed to showing up three times a week, wearing form-fitting clothing that stretched over every inch of my body, not hiding anything.
It was transformative from day one. Now, don’t get me wrong. It is hard and humbling (and hot) every day, but I am supported by the incredible teachers and students in the Modo Yoga community. They don’t know it, but they have made me feel welcome, just as I am. I am in awe of how comfortable and happy each person is, just as they are. It is inspiring and comforting, simultaneously.
When I look around the studio, I feel that I not only belong to this community, but that I belong to myself again. I have tried a variety of classes at Modo at all different times of day – early morning, late afternoon, weekdays, weekends, you name it, I have tried it. What is incredible is that with each class I get something different out of the practice. I am learning when I am strongest and when I am weakest. I am becoming more aware of my body again and can feel myself growing stronger. I feel the connections being rebuilt within me, allowing me to more deeply connect with the world outside myself again.
My journey is far from over, but Modo Yoga is part of the new route in my personal (re)construction project. So, when winter comes and construction season is over in Minnesota, I will continue with my new route, grateful to have found it.